Kids Are Q..u..i...c..k
____________________________________
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North
America .
MARIA: Here it
is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered
America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using
tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell
'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how
I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula
for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we
have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so
dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the
ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting
with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I
am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter
of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped
down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his
hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you
say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a
good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy
his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who
keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Anagrams ... You would enjoy it
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
Bet your friends haven't seen this
one!!!
DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
Bet your friends haven't seen this
one!!!
DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS
Monday, October 26, 2009
Kya Therei Baap Ka Road Hai! ... Interesting story!!
"Kya therei baap ka road hai?" - An apocryphal story involving Russi Mody. (Ex MD Tata Steel, Jamshedpur)
I would like to believe that the following story actually happened. It is so typically Russi.
It is said that once Russi Mody was on an official trip to (the then) Bombay. Even though it was a Sunday morning, Russi had to visit
Bombay House, the Corporate Head Quarters of the Tata Group. Russi was driving a Mercedes himself as it was a Sunday and there was very little traffic and also it was the chauffeur's day off. Russi was wearing simple shorts and a T shirt.
Knowing that he would take just a few minutes to finish his work in Bombay ouse and that it was a non-working day in the business district with very low traffic, he decided to take liberties to park his Merc in an other-wise no parking zone. A conscientious traffic cop
noticed all this and he immediately rushed to Russi who had started sauntering towards the Bombay House entrance.
In a gruff voice the Constable asked Russi, "Kyun bhidu, baap kaa sadak samajh kay rakha hai kya?"
Russi very non-chalantly replied: "Haan kuchh aisa hi hai. Aapko English padhna aata hai kya?"
Then he gently held the Cop's arm and walked him to the kerbside and pointed to the metal signage of the road. He asked the cop "Kya Likha Hai?"
The cop said "Sir Homi Mody Street". A mischievously smiling Russi discloses"Woh Mera Baap Tha".
Russi was allowed to leave his car parked in the "No Parking" Zone that Sunday morning.!!
I would like to believe that the following story actually happened. It is so typically Russi.
It is said that once Russi Mody was on an official trip to (the then) Bombay. Even though it was a Sunday morning, Russi had to visit
Bombay House, the Corporate Head Quarters of the Tata Group. Russi was driving a Mercedes himself as it was a Sunday and there was very little traffic and also it was the chauffeur's day off. Russi was wearing simple shorts and a T shirt.
Knowing that he would take just a few minutes to finish his work in Bombay ouse and that it was a non-working day in the business district with very low traffic, he decided to take liberties to park his Merc in an other-wise no parking zone. A conscientious traffic cop
noticed all this and he immediately rushed to Russi who had started sauntering towards the Bombay House entrance.
In a gruff voice the Constable asked Russi, "Kyun bhidu, baap kaa sadak samajh kay rakha hai kya?"
Russi very non-chalantly replied: "Haan kuchh aisa hi hai. Aapko English padhna aata hai kya?"
Then he gently held the Cop's arm and walked him to the kerbside and pointed to the metal signage of the road. He asked the cop "Kya Likha Hai?"
The cop said "Sir Homi Mody Street". A mischievously smiling Russi discloses"Woh Mera Baap Tha".
Russi was allowed to leave his car parked in the "No Parking" Zone that Sunday morning.!!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A True Love Story - Please do not blame me!
A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.
When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other t truly."
So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went t o town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
she washed t he stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?"
The old lady replied...
"Try Surf Excel Washing powder... just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!" .
I know how you all are feeling now... I have been through this too. But don't look at me like that . I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me!.......
Now your turn to find...
When the girl's father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other t truly."
So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went t o town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
she washed t he stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?"
The old lady replied...
"Try Surf Excel Washing powder... just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!" .
I know how you all are feeling now... I have been through this too. But don't look at me like that . I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me!.......
Now your turn to find...
DO NOT WEAR CONTACT LENSES WHERE OVERHEATING AND FLAMES ARE CONCERNED......OR WHILE COOKING
One guy, he used to wear a pair of contact lenses, during a barbecue party. While, barbecuing he stared at the fire charcoals continuously for 2-3 minutes. After a few minutes, he started to scream for help and moved rapidly, jumping up and down. No one in the party knew why he was doing this ? Then he admitted into the Hospital, the doctor said he'll be blind permanently because of the contact lenses that he had worn. Contact lenses are made by plastics, and the heat from the charcoal melted his contact lenses.
So, send this information to all your friends..... DO NOT WEAR CONTACT LENSES WHERE OVERHEATING AND FLAMES ARE CONCERNED......OR WHILE COOKING...!
Friends if this information is important.....please pass this message to all your near & dear ones.
So, send this information to all your friends..... DO NOT WEAR CONTACT LENSES WHERE OVERHEATING AND FLAMES ARE CONCERNED......OR WHILE COOKING...!
Friends if this information is important.....please pass this message to all your near & dear ones.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Equations! - This is the best I have read in a LONG time
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.
===========================
Equation 2
Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money
Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey
In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey
===========================
Equation 3
Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey
In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey
===========================
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend
So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!
So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
===========================
"Never search ur happiness in others, which will make you feel alone, Rather search it in urself, U will feel happy, Even if u r left alone..."
(Without malice to anyone/ any gender)
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.
===========================
Equation 2
Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money
Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey
In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey
===========================
Equation 3
Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey
In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey
===========================
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend
So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!
So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
===========================
"Never search ur happiness in others, which will make you feel alone, Rather search it in urself, U will feel happy, Even if u r left alone..."
(Without malice to anyone/ any gender)
Sardar Joke
An American, Japanese, and a Sardar were sitting in the sauna naked. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. " That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.
The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break in the toilet. When he returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck and hanging from his backside.
The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" Instead of being embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind. The Sardar explained, "I'm getting a
FAX"... The other two fainted
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.
The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break in the toilet. When he returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck and hanging from his backside.
The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" Instead of being embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind. The Sardar explained, "I'm getting a
FAX"... The other two fainted
Monday, October 12, 2009
Only great minds can read this This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm... Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mni d deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it! tweet/retweet it!!
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm... Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mni d deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it! tweet/retweet it!!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Place where Mahabharata was written
Lord Ganesha was sitting in a Gufa (near Mana Border - Border between India and Tibet (now China) and wrote Mahabharata as is being dictated by Veda Vyasa.
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